Thursday, May 26, 2011

IRELAND: need to know

After spending some time in Ireland I have learned some things and now I will share them with you. Now lest you think I hate Ireland because of the following comments, it is not true, I loved Ireland but I just hated Dublin.

1. They absolutely love Obama. Which means that the park and other good things must be closed down when he comes to visit. Which of course must happen while I visit Ireland. You drink a pint with them and they will call you a hero.
2. Dublin stinks. Literally and figuratively. There isn't much to see there and the place smells like urine. After all, boys just pee on the walls so it makes sense. It is just full of pubs, dirty people, and trash.
3. There actually are no leprechauns, rainbows, pots of gold, or four-leaf cloves. True until proven otherwise.
4. If you want to work at a help or information desk it is actually a requirement not to know anything whatsoever. You must be of as little help to the tourists as possible and know as little knowledge as you can. You must also act like an angry Leprechaun when people ask questions.
5. They hate the Queen. Unresolved issue apparently. And because she visits everything must also be closed down, especially when I come to visit.
6. There actually is a plethora of GINGERS. I loved that! I saw lots of red-heads, it was great.
7. Trying to get transportation of any kind sucks and costs a lot of money. Because apparently buses dont all leave from the same place.
8. The people in the country are way more friendly and helpful.
9. The real Irish countryside is absolutely gorgeous, green, and breathtaking. Especially the coast.
10. They have tons of barbershops. One on each corner and then some. I assume that Irish men must be really hairy and it must needs be groomed often.


Cheers from Mr. President

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